Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
