your room smells of hookers.
And success
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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