What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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