i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
