How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
