pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
