Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
