Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
