I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
