Who wears a wallet chain?!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
