Is it because I queefed?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
