Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
