Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I love you. Go after that dick
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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