i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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