White coat. Heels.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
