She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
