Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
