Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
