he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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