They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Randomize
