She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
