So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
