I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We are two peas in an std pod
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize