I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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