found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
