he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Your penis caused this!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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