i don't plan on having that self control this summer
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you didnt know i had herpes?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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