you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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