I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
