Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
