Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
