that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I forgot wine drunk hurts
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
