break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
