Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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