I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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