glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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