Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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