How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize