Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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