never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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