hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dick very happy bro
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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