She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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