i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
