my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
