Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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