I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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