Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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