i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
