I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
