I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
no, he came in my armpit
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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