My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize