I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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