There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
