I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize