I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
