I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
