thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I understand Curling. That high.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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