dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
