Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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