I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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